07/13/2017
Russian girl analyzes you in the first seconds of dating, but what exactly does she pay attention to first of all? The answer to this question is known to Amy Cuddy - a social psychologist, a professor at the Harvard Business School.
In her new book, Presence, Cuddy writes that people quickly answer themselves to two questions when they first meet someone:
Can I trust this person? and Can I respect this person?
Psychologists call them "sincerity" and "competence", and each of us wants to be perceived as a person with these criteria.
However, according to Amy Cuddy, in a professional context, most people consider "competence" to be a more important factor. And this means that first they want to show their skills and talents and prove they can deal with everything.
But in fact, sincerity and reliability are the most important factors in how people evaluate us.
From an evolutionary point of view, it is more important for a person to know if another person deserves trust.
Cuddy claims that competence is truly valued, but only after trust is established. A focus on its strengths can have negative consequences.
In her search, people usually try to look very smart and competent, but this can actually lead to the loss of social ties.
If someone who you are trying to impress does not trust you, you will not go far in dealing with him. Moreover, you can cause suspicion, because you will be perceived as a manipulator, explains Amy Cuddy.
A pleasant, reliable person always causes admiration. But only after you establish a relationship that will be based on trust, your strengths will be perceived as a gift, not as a threat to others.
